Prosperous Education

I started my college education at UGA in 1987. I was smart enough to get in but really didn't have the study skills for a demanding college. Plus I was enjoying my first taste of freedom (at a party school no less) and well... yeah. I left UGA in 1989 when I found out I was expecting what would become my life's greatest blessing. Hey Jonathan!

After Jonathan was born, I went back to technical school. I wanted to further my education, but my grades from UGA were so dismal that I couldn't transfer. So I enrolled in an Accounting Technology program and learned how to study and take notes. My first semester I made all As. And I made all As every semester except one - when I made a B in a typing class (that thing still ticks me off, LOL). But I had something to prove to myself and I had a son to support. And I knew that I could do it. I felt strong again, and confident, and much like my old high school self when it came to education.

After I graduated that program, I started working at a little Red and Blue bank in Atlanta. (I won't go into my career much, because that deserves its own prosperous post). But that job gave me a promotion and transfer to Charlotte in 1997.

In 2002, my son was 12 and I decided it was time for me to finish my degree. There were a few reasons behind this.

• I wanted the "Bachelor's degree required" in job descriptions to no longer be a hinderance.
• I wanted to show my son that anything was possible with hard work.
• I wanted my parents to have a complete set of degrees on their wall from ALL of their children, and I wanted to walk across stage with them healthy enough to be there and see it.

Enrolled in one classs to get my feet wet - got an A. Next semester I took 3 classes and got all A's. (I was still working full time as a project manager, by the way). I kept going, and every semester after that one I took a full load of classes. I got 2 Bs in the 3 years I was in college. I graduated May 2005 from University of North Carolina-Charlotte with a 3.79 GPA. And my entire family was there. God is good.

Prosperity lesson - sometimes doing it is as simple as deciding it should be done. God given intellect is the start, but the desire to "do" is what puts that gift into action.

Un-Prosperous Health

I'm probably going to take many posts to talk about health. This is a huge bite of the elephant so I want to make sure I give it its just due.

I am not at a place I'd consider healthy right now. I am overweight and since I've turned 40 the weight is piling on even more. My blood sugar is poorly managed. I work out sporadically at best and get discouraged easily. Each of these things probably deserve their own posts and I will likely break them down more and revisit them often. Because first is documenting the problem - and then working continuously on a solution.

Let's start with the weight.

I like to eat. I like to eat A LOT. I love sweet and salty. I also tend to eat emotionally. And since a full life is replete with ups and downs... yep, eat.

I've had tons of fits and starts on changing my way of eating. Because I am smart enough to realize that short term diets only yield short term results. So I try to research ways of life that are sustainable and don't make me feel like I am being robbed of life. I start and I stop... and start and stop...

Oops! Let me circle back and add an insight in here. I am gifted and have a ton of book sense. I have amazing recall and remember facts years after they even matter to most people. When something sinks in, it sticks. That means that a LOT of things come easy to me, at least intellectually. I was and am a proud nerd, and I grew up with a lot of stress on education and success, but not much talking about healthy lifestyles (this will come up more in later posts).

Being smart is a great thing, right? In most cases, yes. But it has a downside. When some things come easy to me, the things that challenge me seem that much harder. (I started typing this paragraph in the 3rd voice, but this isn't about "you" or "they" - it is about me). So when a person who achieves easily comes against a hard force, what happens? I get frustrated and quit because it isn't easy enough. Because as smart and talented as I am, if it is that hard for me then it must not be for me.

Now, how stupid is saying "Being healthy is not for me?" I'd never consciously say that. But my actions relay that message.

So what is my first step? Typing this "out loud" was my first step! Being honest about it was my first step. My next step will be to acknowledge the common challenges I face and put together a realistic and sustainable action plan to address them.

This is a tough piece of my elephant, but taking the first bite makes it seem so much more conquerable.

So - What's the Plan?

"So, we've identified the situation. What's next?"

What, now I have to have an answer? I didn't sign up for that! Nah, just kidding. Next is picking apart the situation.

Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A: One bite at a time.

First is breaking this thing down into bite sized chunks. Saying "I need to lose 100 pounds" is daunting and may not be realistic based on my composition. Saying "I need to eat better and exercise more" brings it into focus. It means that I've put my eyes on what's most important and a goal I can control.

Don't get me wrong, there may be some weeping and gnashing of teeth along the way. I'm nothing else if not dramatic and have a slight gift of self-deprecation. Plus - I NEED to vent. I don't need to feel sorry for myself. I don't need to give up. But I do need an outlet. And isn't that the main purpose of a blog?

The funniest part for me is figuring out which bite of the elephant to take first. Do I start with the easy ones and build up momentum? Or do I tackle a hard one? No matter which one I choose, my first response is "Uh oh, I gotta talk about THAT?" Again... talking, the reason for the whole blogging thing.

But I do want to examine each area of my life in bite-sized chunks, even the ones that are going well. Because even there, I can find opportunities to do better. And it gives me an opportunity to celebrate myself because in spite of it all, I am a pretty awesome person.

So, if I were interviewing you... which "bite" of your life would you want to chew on first?

The Fear of Success

Doesn't even sound right, does it?

But that's the result of almost every personality evaluation that I've ever taken.

Fear.Of.Success.

What does that even mean, anyway? And if I'm afraid of success, why am I successful at some things?

It means (for me) that I'm not really afraid that I'll fail. Partially because I take my talents for granted... bad girl. But here's my special recipe of bass ackwardness... what will happen if I succeed? Will people expect more of me? If I slip and fall after I succeed, will people say "I told you so?" What if I get tired and have a day (or week, or month) of not wanting to be extraordinary?

It is so funny to type, and I've had people - even family - laugh at me when I've tried to express it before? I mean, who is afraid of being smart? Who is afraid of promotions at work? Who is afraid of being MORE?

Well... me, that's who.

Why? Where did it start? I don't know... but we'll start peeling back those layers. Plus if I put it all in this post, what will go in post #2?

First step to getting over the fear of success... being willing to take a second step.